Understanding Autistic Burnout: A Personal Journey
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Chapter 1: A Personal Reflection on Fatigue
For over 15 years, I have openly discussed my ongoing battle with fatigue. This exhaustion feels like a constant companion in my life, varying in intensity but always present. Take, for instance, my missed post last Wednesday; this one is also delayed by a day.
Despite undergoing various tests—including those for thyroid function, diabetes, and sleep studies—I have yet to find any answers or improvements. Eventually, my fatigue was labeled as post-viral chronic fatigue, a designation I accepted until recently when my sister shared a video about autistic burnout.
Autistic Burnout? A Surprising Revelation!
Indeed, it was quite unexpected! Until very recently, I had never considered the possibility that I might be autistic, despite my extensive research on the condition to assist Mike. However, my sister began attending therapy, and during her sessions, she shared insights about me, leading her therapist to suspect I could be autistic based on her descriptions.
This revelation shocked me, especially as I had not yet grasped the significant differences in how autism manifests in men versus women. Historically, autism has often been perceived as a male-centric condition, resulting in many women suffering without receiving the necessary support.
Autism in Men: Common Symptoms
According to ADDitude magazine, the following are prevalent symptoms of autism, primarily reflecting how they appear in males:
- Difficulty in understanding others' thoughts or emotions
- Challenges in reading facial expressions, body language, or social cues
- Trouble managing emotions
- Difficulties in maintaining conversations
- A speech style that may not convey true feelings
- A tendency to monopolize conversations on preferred topics
- Repetitive or routine behaviors
- Participation limited to a narrow range of activities
- Rigidity in daily routines, causing distress with changes
- Strong, specialized interests
While women may exhibit these symptoms, they often do so in different ways, which is why I had never considered them applicable to myself.
Autism (ASD) Differences in Women
Before outlining these differences, I want to clarify two key terms:
- Masking: This refers to the practice of hiding or concealing one's differences to fit in with others, which can be exhausting.
- Stimming: This involves self-soothing behaviors, such as hand-flapping, rocking, or repeating certain phrases.
#### The Impact of Masking on Women
Traditionally, girls have been raised with different expectations than boys. They are often socialized to be pleasant, smile, and maintain eye contact from a young age, effectively training them to mask their autism.
#### Social Experiences
Many women with autism tend to have fewer difficulties in forming friendships compared to their male counterparts. While this might not apply to my own experience, it holds true for numerous women.
#### Stimming Behaviors
Women may engage in stimming, which can be more or less noticeable. For instance, they might pace, twirl their hair, or bite their nails, among other behaviors.
#### Interests and Emotional Expression
Women can develop intense interests similar to those of men, but these may align more with societal norms, such as interests in celebrities or literature. Additionally, while boys often externalize their distress, girls may internalize their struggles, leading to depression or anxiety, which can go unnoticed.
Chapter 2: Understanding Autistic Burnout
When discussing whether I might be autistic, I want to focus on autistic burnout. As defined by Autism Speaks, navigating a world designed for neurotypical individuals can create unique challenges for those with different neurological wiring. This struggle can lead to what many autistic adults identify as autistic burnout—a state of profound mental and physical exhaustion, coupled with a decline in the skills needed for daily functioning.
During episodes of burnout, everyday tasks become increasingly challenging. Individuals with autism often grapple with activities that others find simple, and burnout exacerbates these difficulties.
Let’s see how my experiences align with common symptoms of autistic burnout:
- Persistent fatigue that doesn’t improve with rest: Check.
- Changes in sleep patterns: Check.
- Difficulties with language, executive function, and self-regulation: Possibly.
- Increased sensory sensitivities: Check. I crave quiet.
- Heightened mental health issues, such as anxiety and depression: Check.
- Withdrawal from social interactions: Check.
- Struggles with executive functioning, including decision-making: Check.
- Increased repetitive behaviors: Check. I often fiddle with my hair or flap my fingers.
- Challenges with daily living activities: Check. Brushing my teeth is particularly taxing.
- More frequent meltdowns: Hard to assess.
- Spending more time alone: Check.
The symptoms I’ve listed suggest that I might be experiencing autistic burnout, sparking my curiosity about this condition.
Next Steps: What Can I Do?
Determining whether I have autism complicates my ability to identify triggers and sources of my fatigue. However, existing literature indicates that addressing autistic burnout involves reducing activities that deplete one's energy. For now, I will return to my trusty method of research. I plan to watch more videos on autism to help decide whether to seek a diagnosis. Even without formal identification, if I suspect autism, I can explore coping strategies to better manage my situation moving forward.
So, do I have autism and autistic burnout? Stay tuned for updates!
In this video, “Autistic Burnout Explained - Signs, Causes & Strategies,” viewers can learn about the signs of autistic burnout and strategies for managing it effectively.
The video “Ask an Autistic #3 - What is Autistic Burnout?” offers insights into the experiences of autistic individuals and their perspectives on burnout.