Embracing Change While Celebrating My Postpartum Journey
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Chapter 1: A Personal Reflection on Body Image
The "all-belly pregnancy" experience and the notion of "bouncing back" were not advantages I was granted. After welcoming two children in a short span of three years, I've found myself 50 pounds heavier than I was on my wedding day. While this is acceptable from a moral standpoint, I recognize that my worth isn't defined by my weight. The size of my jeans has no bearing on my identity, and I understand that clothing sizes are largely arbitrary.
I'm truly grateful for the growing narrative around body positivity on social media. It's heartening to see an increase in plus-size and midsize fashion influencers. The content that celebrates diverse body types, regardless of the circumstances, brings me joy. Yet, I still feel a desire to shed some weight.
Section 1.1: The Struggle with Guilt
At times, I grapple with guilt for wanting to lose weight. It feels as though my desire contradicts my love for my body, as if I'm somehow endorsing diet culture when I monitor my snack calories. I worry about unintentionally shaming those who share my weight. What if I'm striving to become a version of myself that no longer exists? Am I resisting the acceptance of my current life stage?
However, I also struggle with the difficulties of losing weight. I dislike the exercises that might yield quicker results and find it frustrating that when I'm experiencing PMS, I struggle to maintain my calorie goals. It's infuriating when the scale doesn't reflect my efforts, and I often feel guilty for indulging or missing my daily step count. I contemplate the kind of example I am setting for my children. Will they see a determined mom or an overly emotional one? Am I inadvertently instilling unhealthy eating habits in them?
Subsection 1.1.1: Affirming My Journey
Section 1.2: Reassuring Myself
Through all these feelings, I remind myself that none of this is morally wrong. Gaining weight does not make me a bad person, nor does wanting to lose it. I can aspire to shed some pounds while still appreciating the beauty in all body types. It’s entirely possible to pursue weight loss while also recognizing the beauty of my current body.
I can aim for this change in a way that suits me. Speed isn't essential—slow and steady might be more beneficial. I can track calories because it resonates with me, and choose walking over high-intensity workouts. I can honor the hard work my body has done in bringing my children into the world while also yearning for a body that feels more aligned with my identity.
I can be a happy, hardworking mom and demonstrate that imperfection doesn't equate to hopelessness. I can teach my children that bodies are normal and neutral.
Chapter 2: The Desire for Change
This video titled "The Postpartum Body: Will It Ever Be The Same?" explores the complexities of body image after childbirth, addressing the feelings of change and acceptance that many women experience.
In "Getting Real About My Postpartum Body," the speaker shares their personal journey, highlighting the challenges and triumphs of embracing a new body after pregnancy.
So yes, I do wish to transform my body. Yet, I also cherish who I am. Valuing oneself is as crucial, if not more so, than embracing the body we inhabit. Bodies are merely vessels; what truly matters is the essence of our souls, which are loved entirely and unconditionally.