Weed: A Trendy Plant with Hidden Consequences
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Chapter 1: The Allure of Cannabis
Cannabis—what a captivating topic! Known for its distinct appeal, the effects of its buds, and its prominent role in modern culture and ancient traditions, few plants can rival its popularity. This plant has a rich history that will likely keep it in the spotlight for years to come. While I acknowledge the numerous benefits of cannabis—ranging from its use in construction to its medicinal applications—the glamorization of cannabis often obscures some harsh truths. Allow me to elaborate.
Who Am I to Speak?
Before I ever tried my first joint around 2003, I was already intrigued by this plant that was becoming increasingly prevalent in my surroundings. Its mysterious qualities, the social dynamics it fostered, and the thrill of its forbidden nature drew me in. At just 15 years old, my initial experiences had minimal effect on me, yet I quickly became captivated.
Initially, my smoking was a social activity, where friends always had something to share. Eventually, I began purchasing my own supply, wanting to enjoy it on my own and to create my own little escape.
Fast forward thirteen years: at 28, I awoke in a haze of stale smoke, an unfinished joint beside me. I instinctively lit it, barely opening my eyes. As I remained in bed, mindlessly watching TV, I made excuses to avoid going out with friends. That evening, I fell asleep with another joint in hand, realizing that I had lost control of my life over the years.
What Changed Over Those Years?
As I continued to consume cannabis, I developed a tolerance that diminished its effects. Unlike alcohol, where a higher intake leads to intensified effects, my consumption plateaued. This cycle of dependence drove me to smoke more and try different methods of consumption, including bongs and edibles. With cannabis still illegal in my area, I sought out higher-quality products whenever possible.
Smoking became interwoven into the fabric of my daily life, serving as a "reward" or a way to relax. The repercussions of this habit were evident in my mental health, daily routine, and finances.
Prison of the Mind
The pleasure I derived from smoking created a comforting bubble around me. I often found joy in making music while high, but excessive indulgence gradually led to isolation and a lack of motivation. The world outside felt overwhelming, and I preferred the comfort of my sanctuary. Over time, my social circle shrank to include only fellow smokers, and I experienced a significant emotional drought, even going nearly two years without any romantic connections.
When I finally decided to quit, I was shocked by how much time had slipped away unnoticed.
Chapter 2: The Cognitive Decline
Reflecting on my time as a heavy smoker, I realized that I was often trapped in a fog. My memory began to falter, leading to missed appointments and misplaced items—once, I even left my guitar on a bus. My once-sharp memory became a sieve, allowing information to slip away as quickly as it entered.
Anxiety and Depression
After years of heavy use, panic attacks became a frequent visitor. These overwhelming sensations would strike without warning, making everyday activities feel daunting. Coupled with a persistent low mood, I mistakenly believed that my habit was my remedy, when in reality, it deepened my struggles.
Daily stressors compounded my anxiety, particularly the challenge of resupplying my cannabis. This unstable environment introduced a series of experiences that ranged from questionable transactions to the fear of legal repercussions—all in stark contrast to the calm demeanor often portrayed in media.
The first video titled "Should I Kick My Kid Out For Smoking Weed [PART 1]" explores the dilemmas surrounding cannabis use in family dynamics, highlighting the challenges faced by parents and their children.
Money Management
My consumption habits grew so extensive that I began buying larger quantities to save money. On average, I smoked one to two grams daily, which translated to a monthly expense of around €500. Over a decade, this added up significantly. While I had a steady job, my cannabis habit still strained my finances. In my teenage years, I resorted to odd jobs, borrowing from my parents, and even selling belongings to sustain my habit.
Apology vs. Reality
It's important to clarify that my intent is not to vilify cannabis nor to endorse its use. While I believe that occasional use isn't harmful, I would caution my younger self about the potential dangers of excessive consumption. The desire to fit in, combined with personal experiences and a rebellious attitude, fueled my dependence.
Curious about how I navigated my way back to a balanced life? Stay tuned for the next article.
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