Mastering Overwhelm: The Coaching Question That Cuts Through Chaos
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Chapter 1: The Burden of Leadership
When I first stepped into a leadership role, I was eager to conquer challenges, perhaps a bit overly confident. However, as projects accumulated and my inbox overflowed with urgent demands, that initial excitement quickly transformed into a sense of being overwhelmed. Does this scenario resonate with you?
Over the years, many individuals I've coached have expressed feelings of drowning—not just figuratively but quite literally under the weight of their responsibilities. A particular coaching question arises during these moments of chaos:
“What would be your first step?”
BOOM! This question has proven effective even with clients facing termination.
The essence of "What First?"
The primary reason this question is indispensable during overwhelming times is that it encourages you to break down your tasks into manageable steps. Even in the face of potential job loss, this coaching prompt remains powerful. When confronted with a daunting task, it can feel akin to staring up at Mount Everest, pondering how to ascend in one fell swoop.
Spoiler alert: That’s not going to happen.
Asking “What would you have to do first?” is like identifying the base camp of your journey. It clarifies the immediate actions required to initiate the process. After receiving the response, I follow up with, “Can you accomplish that today?” If the answer is a resounding NO, I circle back with, “So, what would be your first step?” Continue this line of questioning, and breakthroughs will emerge.
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Chapter 2: Real-Life Applications of the Question
The first video, "This coaching question makes clients uncomfortable - in a good way!" discusses how asking the right questions can lead to transformative breakthroughs for clients, even in challenging situations.
Because We've All Faced It
Consider Jenny, a project manager at a UK radio station, who felt completely overwhelmed. With a bulging inbox, endless reports, and ceaseless meeting requests, she felt like Atlas carrying the world.
Things were going poorly for her, and she mentioned that she was facing termination, leaving her feeling helpless. I asked her, “So, you’re getting fired, and you feel overwhelmed?” She nodded in agreement.
I then posed the pivotal question: “What would you have to do first?”
Through our discussion, Jenny realized that her initial step was to prioritize her feelings and regain a sense of calm. We broke it down further until she expressed, “I just want to prepare for the worst without needing to know every subsequent step.”
BOOM! We made significant progress. I then asked, “Can you accept the worst without knowing every next step?” She nodded. Ultimately, she decided to take a stand and told her employer to “stuff the job,” which I found quite amusing. It was a turning point for her.
From Stress to Success
You might believe that multitasking is a hallmark of effective leadership. However, let's be honest—it's often as productive as trying to eat soup with a fork—ambitious but ultimately frustrating. When everything seems urgent, nothing truly is, which is where the magic question plays its role.
What's the one task I need to prioritize right now? What’s truly important? Focus on that and disregard the rest.
Action Plan
Despite its simplicity, don’t underestimate the power of this question. It can be deceptively tricky because, at times, the first task we need to tackle isn't the one we desire.
It’s similar to knowing I should exercise while the couch beckons with promises of binge-watching. Asking “What’s first?” forces a decision. Do I grab the remote or put on my running shoes? In the workplace, which task do you prioritize? The enjoyable, easy one or the crucial task that demands your attention?
Ask yourself, “What would I have to do first?” even if job security hangs in the balance.
You Got This
I am the author of "The Imposter Syndrome — Stop The Inner Critic" available on Audible.
The second video, "Revolutionize Your Coaching Sessions with These 6 Powerful Questions," offers insights on how to enhance your coaching sessions through strategic questioning, ensuring you and your clients can navigate challenges effectively.