Chapter 1: The Cost of Favoring Friends

In May 2021, as COVID-19 restrictions began to ease slightly, caution still loomed large. People wore masks, and in some regions, curfews remained in effect, leaving many feeling uneasy. I had a friend, whom I'll call Brenda, who was nearing the end of her college journey, set to graduate with a degree in Film and Audiovisual Communication. For her final project, she needed to create a short film, but due to the pandemic, securing participants was a challenge.

With a planned trip to Peru just two weeks away, I felt compelled to help her out, believing it made sense since I was already planning to travel. In hindsight, I realize now that I was manipulated into agreeing to help.

My involvement quickly spiraled into a stressful ordeal. Brenda's project required me to act in a short film where I played a character hailing a taxi in a risky part of town. She assured me that my role would only require four hours of my time—one hour for makeup and three for filming.

Upon arrival, Brenda requested to use my car for the shoot, claiming it would enhance the film's aesthetics. Feeling cornered, I agreed, thinking it wouldn't be an issue. The makeup process began, and we rehearsed a bit, but things quickly unraveled.

The crew was late, arriving two hours behind schedule, and technical difficulties compounded the delays. As the hours ticked by, I found myself exposed to a group of unfamiliar faces in a risky setting, all while the curfew loomed closer.

Brenda attempted to reassure me, claiming that her "cousin" would provide us with a document permitting us to be outside. When the document arrived, it was just a flimsy piece of paper created in Word, lacking any legitimacy. Fortunately, the police did not show up during our filming.

After six hours, we had not completed the shoot, and anxiety enveloped me. We were filming on a treacherous street in Latin America, surrounded by expensive equipment, heightening my concerns. Since my car was being used, leaving was not an option, and I felt trapped.

I began to reflect on the potential ramifications of this favor. Contracting COVID-19 before my trip would shatter my dream of visiting Peru, and if the police intervened, I could face serious legal issues. Additionally, leaving would mean abandoning Brenda's project, jeopardizing our friendship.

Overwhelmed, I broke down in tears, exhausted and anxious. The issue with favors is that if things go awry, you become the villain. Lacking experience in front of the camera, I was also being denied basic needs like food and proper breaks, all while trying to deliver the perfect performance.

Eventually, we had to wrap up for the night without completing the filming. The next day brought even more chaos, with Brenda's stress manifesting as anger directed at the crew. The atmosphere became toxic, and I felt immense pressure as my family began to express concern for my safety.

Despite my efforts, Brenda accused me of not being cooperative. After another exhausting day, she insisted I return for a third filming session, but I had reached my limit. My anxiety had become unbearable, so I decided to step back, explaining that I needed to prioritize my health and job.

This led to a confrontation. Brenda claimed I was ruining her project and our friendship, but I realized that my well-being mattered more than her expectations. Unfortunately, this disagreement led to the end of our friendship.

Looking back, I recognize that there were many actions I could have taken to avoid this situation. The most significant one was simply saying no to her request for help. I realized that I was never the right person for her project, and my desire to assist ultimately led to negative consequences.

Since that experience, I have firmly established a boundary against doing favors, regardless of how trivial they may seem. I refuse to risk my peace of mind or relationships for the sake of someone else's project. I now prioritize my own well-being over the obligation to help others.

The lesson here is clear: favors can often appear manageable, but they can quickly spiral out of control, leading to stress and anxiety. I have learned that my mental health and relationships are far more valuable than any favor I could provide. If you find yourself in a similar situation, consider adopting the same approach.

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