Embracing Vulnerability in Writing: A Journey of Self-Discovery
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Chapter 1: The Challenge of Exposure
For many, the act of writing gradually transforms into a less daunting task, bringing with it significant rewards.
Photo by Museums Victoria on Unsplash
Wearing a swimsuit in public was a source of insecurity for me until I reached 57. A coverup gave me the courage to approach the pool, and a towel strategically placed over my midsection allowed me to sunbathe. My swimsuit choices echoed styles from the 1930s, shielding me from judgment. However, as I approached retirement, I grew to embrace my appearance, realizing I could confidently flaunt my body. Just as with my swimming attire, writing also brought forth similar anxieties. I doubt I am alone in feeling exposed when penning personal or passionate topics. Thus, an article advising honesty and rawness in writing caused me considerable unease.
Writing about my craft enabled me to share insights from my experience as an English teacher, discussing grammar, style, voice, and figurative language. I incorporated quotes from noted authors to illustrate my points. Writing became a tool for conveying information through clear expository narratives, avoiding personal pronouns to keep the focus on the subject matter.
After several months of writing for a wider audience, I began to feel a sense of confidence wash over me. Readers responded with applause and encouraging comments, though some critiques were not particularly constructive. My initial stories were not deeply personal, which helped me navigate the feedback without taking it to heart. At first, my writing was mild, avoiding any topics that might reveal my true feelings.
The fear of judgment loomed large — the possibility of disagreement or indifference from others was daunting. Insecurities often led to procrastination before hitting publish or submit. As I delayed the inevitable, affirmations helped bolster my courage: “I can't satisfy everyone, but I can make myself happy.” “I take pride in my talents and abilities.” “Perfection isn't necessary; I can accept my flaws with humor.”
Over time, I allowed my writing to reflect deeper thoughts while still keeping certain aspects of my life private. I began to ponder what might happen if I shed one layer of protection and exposed myself just a bit more. Would my writing gain strength and intrigue? By modifying my affirmations, I started to embrace vulnerability. “Embrace criticism as it strengthens me.” “Readers won’t engage with my work until I demonstrate genuine care.” “I make decisions for myself based on my current understanding.”
With growing confidence and modest success, I began to write memoirs that conveyed valuable life lessons. I shared stories, such as my parents’ experiences during the Great Depression, illustrating the enduring power of familial love. A humorous tale about my dog’s escapade with a skunk brought laughter, while a memory from my husband about his septic tank job and an elderly woman’s dentures was well-received. Yet, none of these narratives required significant emotional risk.
Upon reviewing my writing statistics, I made a startling realization: the pieces that garnered the most attention were those where I dared to be vulnerable. I found that when readers connected with my message, they responded with kindness. Critiques regarding the style or content of my work simply reflected their perspectives. Negative feedback no longer felt like a personal attack.
Ultimately, my most popular pieces mirrored my core beliefs, chronicled significant events, and shared memories that altered my life’s path. A heartfelt account of my love story with my husband resonated deeply with others. It narrated how we fell in love as teenagers and quickly married, despite skepticism from those around us. This September, we celebrate our 42nd anniversary, and this story serves as a testament to the enduring strength of our love, offering readers insight into identifying true affection.
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When my 33-year-old daughter suffered a stroke, I felt an overwhelming pain that drove me to write. This experience forced me to expose my deepest feelings to the world. Through this journey, I learned coping strategies and shared my experiences, receiving support from readers during that difficult time. I continue to share our stories, offering solace to others, even as I grapple with painful memories.
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Depression also made its presence known as I tried to juggle my career and family life. The pressure to excel in all areas nearly overwhelmed me. As I wrote about these experiences, my intention shifted to sharing my missteps, using my life as a cautionary tale — a true act of vulnerability.
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I came to understand the importance of standing firm in my beliefs. In the past, critical comments from readers led to self-doubt, prompting me to consider deleting posts. Instead, I chose to respond with pride, standing up against negativity and advocating for constructive dialogue. These interactions emphasized the importance of respecting diverse opinions while maintaining decorum in disagreements.
Indeed, writers must be prepared to expose themselves. However, my writing journey has not only invited others into my world but has also facilitated my own self-understanding. Writing imparts lessons by illuminating what matters most. To ourselves, we must remain true: - Write your truth with authenticity. - Share messages that resonate and are crucial to your mission. - Take risks, understanding that not everyone will agree, but some may benefit.
To others, we should be considerate: - Acknowledge that readers may carry emotional baggage that your words could trigger. - Accept that written words can be misinterpreted or misunderstood. - Respect differing opinions, even when you disagree. Sometimes, no response is necessary, but if a rebuttal is needed for your peace, do so kindly.
Writing on an open platform is a rollercoaster ride filled with highs and lows, yet the rewards are plentiful. While I may not feel completely comfortable baring all before my audience, I am gradually learning to reveal more of myself and to receive criticism, rejection, and harsh remarks with grace. I anticipate that, with time, this process will become easier because we are, after all, writers.
Chapter 2: Learning from Vulnerability
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