# Embracing Existential Dread: A Journey Towards Authenticity
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Chapter 1: A Moment of Transformation
A significant phase in my life has emerged, marked by an intense shedding of my former self. This transformation is evident in the stark decline of my physical health and mental well-being.
After dedicating years to studying and obtaining a degree in Accounting, I spent about nine months in the corporate sector, only to realize that life has much more to offer than climbing the corporate ladder.
Am I destined to merely float through existence? Is this truly all there is? Am I to invest all my energy into advancing in a career that feels unfulfilling, just to acquire superficial possessions? Is the ultimate goal simply financial gain?
It’s disheartening that most people around me seem oblivious to my internal struggles. They don’t grasp the depths of my discontent. Since my teenage years, societal expectations have pressured me to pursue paths that promise financial success.
“Materialism is the philosophy of the subject who forgets to take account of himself.” — Arthur Schopenhauer
This quote resonates deeply with me. My neglect in acknowledging my authentic self has led to a profound longing for meaning.
During my school years, I had a strong affinity for the arts and languages, consistently achieving high marks in these subjects. However, societal pressures soon overshadowed my passions. My cultural background contributes to this, as my community often emphasizes monetary success, shaped by their own socio-economic challenges.
What steps can I take now?
This question looms large in my mind, perhaps driven by my higher self urging me forward. The first step involves leveraging my strengths, followed by discarding aspects of my life that conflict with my true essence.
Healing from past experiences and fearlessly exploring my authentic self is essential. This includes educating myself and enlightening those around me.
Ultimately, it’s about engaging in what I am genuinely meant to do, rather than what I feel obligated to do.
Balancing this journey with a conventional 9-5 job will undoubtedly present challenges. I will need to push my limits and embrace the difficulty of this path. However, as my ego continues to dissolve in favor of my higher self, it becomes clear that my only remaining choice is to grow.
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Section 1.1: The Dilemma of Materialism
In a world that often equates success with possessions, the realization of my internal conflict has prompted me to reassess my priorities.
Subsection 1.1.1: Finding My True Self
The quest for authenticity requires introspection and courage. I am learning to embrace my true passions and interests, despite societal expectations.
Section 1.2: The Importance of Healing
Healing from past wounds is crucial in this journey. I am dedicated to understanding and nurturing my authentic self.