This year, I am making a concerted effort to explore alternative platforms, delving into what life is like on "the other side."

This involves spending more time with Windows, which explains my purchase of a Microsoft Surface Laptop 4 last year and my acceptance of a Lenovo Yoga Slim 7 Carbon review unit.

I have a long history with Windows. During my teenage years, I immersed myself in building computers, overclocking graphics cards, and striving to extract every last MHz from poorly configured Pentiums. While I would occasionally play games on these machines, actual usage was infrequent.

Reflecting on my past experiences, I’d say that my time with Windows was 10% enjoyable and 90% maddeningly frustrating.

Fast-forward twenty years, and it seems that not much has changed.

“Mark… the laptop isn’t working.”

My girlfriend has little interest in technology. She views it much like our toaster: it simply needs to function.

That’s why I handed her the Surface Laptop 4 for a study project. She is accustomed to Windows at work, so any effort on my part to extol the virtues of macOS and my fantastic M1 MacBook Air would likely be in vain.

Things were going smoothly until one evening.

“Mark… the laptop isn’t working.”

Those fateful words triggered memories I thought I had buried long ago. I recognized this call for help was about a Windows laptop, and it had been two decades since I last dealt with such issues.

I believed those grim days of computer building were behind me. No more blue screens, no more Safe Mode, BIOS, or command prompts. I thought the absurd, nonsensical technical troubles would never darken my doorstep again.

But I was wrong.

Here we are, back at the beginning.

My attempts to resolve the issue were disheartening. Jen told me she was happily working on a Word document when the Surface Laptop 4 unexpectedly shut down.

Now, it wouldn’t boot. It would attempt to start, but after a brief glimpse of the Windows logo, the laptop would emit a bong and revert to a black screen. If left plugged in, it would continue this cycle indefinitely.

I took a deep breath and gathered my thoughts. I assured myself that I could handle this.

I remembered Safe Mode—maybe it still existed.

Well, kind of. The immediate challenge was accessing the laptop's repair options. I had to perform a complicated power button sequence to get to the boot options, which took me about 43 tries.

Eventually, I found myself staring at a painfully familiar blue screen filled with options. I could boot from a USB, internal storage, or a PXE network.

Three problems arose: - I didn’t have a USB stick or any idea what to put on it. - The only internal storage available was the laptop's SSD, which refused to boot Windows. - I had no clue what a PXE network was.

Fortunately, there were other options. Under the 'Troubleshoot' menu, I discovered ‘Reset this PC’. It appeared I could either keep my files and reset the OS or wipe everything and start anew.

Finally, a glimmer of hope.

After selecting the ‘reset everything’ option, I was offered the choice between a cloud download of Windows or a local reinstall. Knowing the latter would lead me back into PXE territory, I chose the cloud option.

Naturally, it didn’t work.

“Try the local reinstall option,” the laptop suggested unhelpfully.

Frustrated, I returned to the troubleshooting menu and noticed an ‘Advanced’ button. Clicking it revealed six options: - Start-up repair - Start-up settings - Command prompt - Uninstall updates - UEFI firmware settings - System restore

They all sounded intriguing, perhaps even promising.

None were effective, of course.

Actually, I should clarify—both the command prompt and UEFI firmware settings functioned, but left me with additional dilemmas: - I had no idea how to navigate the command prompt. - I was equally lost in the UEFI firmware settings.

In short, this laptop was ‘borked’, as the kids say. That relentless boot loop seemed impossible to resolve unless I could find a USB drive with Windows on it.

This felt eerily familiar.

Clearly, my Surface Laptop can be fixed. Since that distressing day weeks ago, I’ve learned how to create a USB Windows recovery disk. I just need to find the time, motivation, and energy to get it operational again.

However, the time spent staring at that miserable blue screen—and the reason I had to be there in the first place—sent me back twenty years.

Nothing has changed. If a Windows computer encounters a mysterious issue, you’re thrust into a hellish experience trying to fix it.

Technical jargon (why should I need to know what ‘UEFI’ means?) and seemingly useful buttons that yield nothing but error messages do not make for an enjoyable DIY fix.

I don’t believe there’s anything fundamentally wrong with my Surface Laptop. I’m pretty sure it just needs a fresh Windows install. That’s understandable—these things happen. But why does reinstalling the operating system have to be such a hassle?

This frustration is compounded by the fact that the problem lies with a Windows laptop made by Microsoft. Surely, that should give it an edge in reliability?

In contrast, my Macs (all five of them) are… well, they never encounter issues like this. In fact, I can’t recall the last time I had to reinstall or reset macOS. It simply doesn’t occur.

There was, however, one option left for my Surface Laptop that didn’t involve any Windows complications.

Let’s transform it into a Chromebook!

During a recent episode of Eight or Sixteen, my co-host Rob suggested turning the nearly-defunct Surface Laptop 4 into a Chromebook.

This can be achieved through Google’s innovative Chrome OS Flex project, designed to convert old PCs and Macs into Chromebooks.

You simply download an installer onto a USB stick, insert it into the old laptop, and watch as Chrome OS magically appears on the screen. If it all goes smoothly and you enjoy the experience, you can opt for a permanent installation of Chrome OS.

I found this prospect very exciting.

Unfortunately, the Chrome OS Flex installer didn’t function on my Surface Laptop 4. Naturally.

I haven’t lost hope for Windows; I’m still committed to broadening my horizons this year.

But the next time I encounter blue screens, boot loops, or bongs from my Windows laptop, I will install Chrome OS without hesitation. If it works, that is. Which it probably won’t.

By the way, my girlfriend is now contentedly using the M1 MacBook Air.

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Originally published at https://markellisreviews.com on February 24, 2022.