The Working Environment

Having spent nearly a year in my current role, I can confidently say that it has not been a fulfilling experience. I am starting to acknowledge the hard truth: the problem lies not with me, but with the environment. Recent developments have further solidified this realization. Our feature team has transitioned to four-week sprints after struggling to complete tasks in the previous two-week cycles.

The Situation

At the conclusion of today’s stand-up, our tech lead and product management posed a pivotal question: "Is there anything you want to discuss for the retro, or can we cancel?" I felt compelled to respond but was uncertain. My inclination was to consult the Scrum Master later. When the tech lead directed the question to the team, we were met with an overwhelming silence. Personally, I believe that retrospectives should rarely be skipped.

The Consequences

Without the opportunity to reflect on our work and progress, how can we expect to improve? While I understand the significance of these meetings, my primary concern is the impact on my own well-being. Here’s the crux of the issue: I feel awful. Two weeks ago, I pushed some untested code, and I want to discuss that. I had hoped to generate test data for my recent work, but a week has passed without any progress.

So why did I choose to stay silent? The answer lies in my desire to avoid causing disruption. I am aware of the psychological safety that is often lacking in our environment, and I fear that voicing my concerns may disrupt the status quo. I feel trapped in a low-expectations setting, hesitant to appear as though I don't belong. Ironically, I find myself at odds with the team’s ethos, as I strive for quality code and meaningful feature delivery. The fear of potential job loss looms large.

Instead of contributing positively to our team's growth and enhancing our value to customers, I remain silent, grappling with this tension.

Solutions

To address this issue, rather than suggesting my own dismissal (which I would consider if I were my own employer), I propose some clear steps to enhance retrospectives for everyone involved:

1. Foster Psychological Safety: Create an environment where team members feel comfortable sharing their thoughts during meetings (I’m not alone in feeling this way).
2. Make Retrospectives Engaging: Ensure that these meetings are relevant and valuable to participants.

I’ve even penned an article detailing how to transform retrospectives into valuable sessions for the team. I encourage you to check it out.

Conclusion

In essence, I may be struggling as a developer, but there are paths forward. However, I, "The Secret Developer," often refrain from sharing my thoughts that could help our organization, instead resorting to writing these blog posts. As I reflect, I realize that my presence may not be contributing positively to my current company.

About The Author

Professional Software Developer “The Secret Developer” can be found on Twitter @TheSDeveloper and regularly publishes articles through Medium.com.