Navigating Post-Pandemic Dating: A Personal Journey
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Chapter 1: Facing the Challenges of Post-Pandemic Dating
Dating in the aftermath of the pandemic has proven to be quite difficult.
Photo by Zest Tea on Unsplash
My initial approach involved using dating apps, but I soon realized they weren’t the right fit for me. I then thought about bartending as a means to socialize and meet new people while earning some extra cash. However, I left that job after just one shift because the atmosphere didn’t suit me—too many entitled college students and Jello shots.
The reality is, I feel a significant resistance to forming real connections with others at this moment. This feeling began during the lockdown in 2020, a time when many experienced a profound emotional shift.
Loneliness has since become a widespread issue, especially for younger individuals—though at 35, I no longer fit that demographic. I find myself emotionally withdrawn, preferring the safety of remote work from my laptop. Even returning to an office setting has become a monumental challenge for me. My supervisor’s insecurity makes the environment uncomfortable; she crumbles if not treated delicately. Somehow, I manage to keep my composure, all while secretly yearning for a stable position in Human Resources.
There's one man at work who catches my eye, but he seems just as apprehensive around me. Perhaps he, too, is dealing with his own struggles; I suspect he may be navigating a tough divorce based on a brief comment I overheard.
Maybe I’m just being hopeful.
Despite my efforts to engage him, he often appears startled by my attempts at conversation. Regardless, I’m proud of myself for trying to be warm and inviting toward a man—it's a positive step forward.
Taking Small Steps Forward
Tonight, I’m attending a social function—my daughter’s “Meet the Teacher” back-to-school night. Afterward, we’re heading to a friend’s house, which is another effort on my part to reconnect socially.
Recently, I’ve started to open up to her, which has been a significant move toward re-establishing my social life. I wonder if I’ll ever regain that vibrant, carefree spirit I once had.
The truth is, I’m no longer a “girl.” At 35, I’ve entered the realm of being a “woman.”
Talking to my friend has been beneficial. We share similar backgrounds, having both dealt with difficult relationships with our mothers. She lost hers and often expresses regret for not reconciling before her passing. Her advice to me is to mend relationships now to avoid future regrets.
She’s also helping me challenge my negative thought patterns—ones that became distorted after 2020 affected my mental health.
I’ve been grappling with dark thoughts and feelings of despair that sometimes overwhelm me. She points out when I express negativity about myself, others, or the world, helping me recognize toxic patterns.
I'm determined to learn and grow so that I can foster healthy connections—something that perhaps wasn’t modeled for me in childhood. Becoming emotionally healthier might be the key to cultivating a fulfilling relationship with a partner, a goal I am committed to, despite my ongoing struggle with self-sabotage.
Taking baby steps.
Chapter 2: Dating with Intention as a Single Mom
In this insightful video titled "How to stop sabotaging your romantic relationships," Raquel Peel discusses the reasons behind self-sabotage in relationships and offers strategies for overcoming these destructive patterns.
Raquel Peel’s TEDx talk, "Why do we sabotage Love?" delves into the psychological factors that lead to self-sabotage in romantic relationships and how to navigate these challenges effectively.