Throughout my journey in life, I have come to appreciate the importance of collaboration. Engaging with others enriches my understanding, imparts wisdom, and undoubtedly makes the journey smoother. This principle applies not only to my personal life but also extends to my professional endeavors. To facilitate this, I actively seek out mentorship and participate in:
Collaboration.
Support groups.
Coaching.
Mastermind sessions.
One of my favorite free support groups is known as the Serving Circle. I attend their ZOOM meetings every Tuesday from 7–8:30 PM (EST), where approximately 30 heartfelt individuals gather, all eager to make a positive impact and achieve prosperity in various aspects of life.
The group is led by Tyson Sharpe, an Australian motivator and skilled business professional. I promote my free 7-Module Ask Lewis Mentoring Method within this group, as a way to give back for the successes I have enjoyed in my life.
Tyson frequently sends out emails to all group members, sharing valuable insights on personal and business growth. Recently, he shared an article discussing the significance of knowing when to say "No." It's a fantastic piece filled with solid, conscious business wisdom, which I hope you find enlightening.
Here’s the link to the Serving Circle on Facebook.
Recently, Tyson sent an article titled "How Being 'Nice' Could Be Harming You." You might be thinking, 'Isn't being nice a commendable trait?' While it is, I want to highlight the potential downsides of excessive niceness, particularly in interactions with clients, friends, family, and especially within intimate relationships.
This topic is one I've been reflecting on, and my exploration has revealed patterns I was previously unaware of. My hope is that by sharing these insights, some of you might experience a similar awakening.
Insight 1: The Hidden Costs of Overniceness
Overly accommodating behavior doesn't equate to true kindness; rather, it may stem from inauthenticity, secrecy, and manipulation. To illustrate this, consider how, as infants, our primary concern is to figure out how to receive the love necessary for our survival. When love feels inconsistent, we develop strategies to ensure we retain it.
For me, this manifested as people-pleasing and embodying the role of the 'nice guy.' Here are some beliefs that emerged from this early experience:
If I'm nice, others will reciprocate.
If I proactively meet others' needs, they'll instinctively meet mine.
If I'm nice, life will be smooth and trouble-free.
On the surface, these beliefs seem harmless. However, when taken to extremes, they can lead to:
Withholding your true thoughts.
Concealing mistakes.
Failing to establish necessary boundaries.
Not expressing your own needs and desires.
Forming unspoken, covert agreements with others.
Seeking validation externally.
This pattern of codependency often results in feelings of frustration, resentment, anger, and passive-aggressive behavior when our needs go unmet.
Part of my recovery from this 'nice guy' mindset involves acknowledging my attraction to these behaviors. I often found myself withdrawing and adopting a victim mentality when my unspoken agreements were not honored. If this resonates with you and you’re ready to make a change, here are some tips I’ve learned along the way:
Confront Your Anxiety: Address the things that make you anxious or uncomfortable. The only way to face fears about others' reactions is with love.
Prioritize Self-Love: It may sound simple, but often we forget to ask ourselves, "What can I do for myself right now?" or "What about myself am I proud of?"
Pursue Your Path: For those following their heart's mission, continually engage in activities that fulfill that purpose.
Give from Abundance: Avoid giving from a place of emptiness. Focus on self-care and engage in activities that fulfill you, then give freely without expecting anything in return.
Embrace Authenticity: Simply be yourself, flaws and all. Share your imperfections and celebrate your unique gifts.
In conclusion, while it’s important to be nice, strive to balance this with authenticity, honesty, courage, and openness. Even if it makes others uncomfortable or seems selfish, you deserve to retain your power rather than surrender it to others' perceptions.
I look forward to sharing my journey as I embrace new empowering habits. I hope these reflections prove beneficial to you!
The first video titled "How Being Nice Can Harm Your Health: The Dark Side of Kindness" explores the potential negative consequences of excessive kindness and the psychological impacts it can have on individuals.
Chapter 2: The Dangers of Excessive Kindness
In a related vein, another insightful video titled "The Dangers Of Being Too Nice" delves into the pitfalls of being overly accommodating in personal and professional relationships.
This video discusses how excessive niceness can lead to personal burnout and relationship issues, highlighting the importance of maintaining healthy boundaries.
The Author: Tyson Sharpe is an expert networker who assists individuals and organizations in elevating their consciousness to create heart-centered, thriving businesses. For inquiries, reach Tyson at [email protected]