We are in dire need of recognition and support. Instead of solely identifying the bullies, it's crucial to focus on us—the genuine victims who often feel isolated and unheard.

If you notice someone who appears profoundly lonely, please reach out. Your actions could make a significant difference. It’s essential for those who care, including trained professionals, to stop placing blame on us for our struggles.

We crave attention, support, love, and protection—the same fundamental needs that every human being shares: connection and a sense of belonging.

Many of us are desperately seeking help. The feeling of being overlooked can lead to despair and suicidal thoughts.

If you are unfamiliar with suicidal ideation, it’s important to seek guidance from those who understand it best—us, the individuals who experience it.

We hold the expertise of our own narratives.

Allow me to share my experiences with suicidal thoughts. If my story resonates with you, know that I am here to support you. If my account makes you uncomfortable, it’s vital for you to explore the reasons behind that discomfort. Please refrain from projecting your own feelings of shame onto us; that projection can be detrimental.

If you find yourself feeling more sympathy for the families of individuals who take their own lives than for the victims themselves, it might be time to cultivate your own self-compassion.

We all suffer from a deeply flawed mental health care system that stigmatizes depression while prioritizing status and authority.

Dismissing another’s pain is often a reflection of your own shame and suggests a lack of empathy.

Ultimately, the true victim of suicide is the individual who loses their life (along with any dependent children or vulnerable adults). Survivors, including mental health professionals, are not the victims. Those in positions of power are often complicit in perpetuating the feelings of hopelessness that can lead to suicidal ideation.

This isn’t about assigning blame; it’s about accountability. We cannot mend what we are unaware is broken.

Compassion equates to love in the face of suffering, while suffering leads to indifference towards pain.

Without self-compassion, we cannot extend compassion to others.

If we lack compassion for others, we may also struggle to exhibit genuine empathy.

Lacking empathy—the ability to understand and share in another's experience—makes it difficult to recognize the signs of suicidal thoughts.

Demonstrating indifference towards suffering causes immense harm to ourselves and those around us. This indifference is a manifestation of toxic narcissism, which prioritizes self-preservation over the well-being of others.

Cries for help can be quite evident if we know what to look for.

A tragic case involved a high school student in Spokane, WA, who took her own life at the age of 15. This heartbreaking incident could potentially have been avoided had our society taken bullying more seriously. While we cannot know her exact feelings as she descended the hill toward the river, it’s clear that there were warning signs and that bullying played a significant role.

School anti-bullying initiatives frequently fall short. Countless children and teens endure bullying, while adults often remain inactive, failing to create a safer environment. For instance, my daughter’s elementary school program did not shield her; it exacerbated bullying by neglecting to address the true perpetrators—often the seemingly sweet and entitled girls who haven’t learned to respect boundaries.

It’s not just the overt bullies we should worry about; it’s the charming ones—covert narcissists—who often rise to leadership roles in their own “identity cults.”

When society overlooks warning signs and fails to hold bullies accountable, everyone suffers. Tragically, it’s often the children of permissive parents who bear the brunt of this neglect. The bullies do not typically end their lives; rather, it is their victims who do, yet all children are affected by bullying.

Unlike teenage suicide victims, I possess both personal and professional insights into suicide prevention. I understand what can alleviate suicidal thoughts, yet I cannot compel anyone to provide the support I desperately need when in crisis.

Compassion must emerge from within each of us. I can offer comfort to those grappling with suicidal ideation because I have compassion, but I cannot provide victims with the fundamental sense of love and belonging they require. Only their loved ones can fulfill that need.

Indeed, human beings possess the power to induce suicidal thoughts in one another, and similarly, only we can help alleviate that pain. Compassion is the antidote to prolonged suffering.

Our modern world is severely lacking in compassion, leading to a staggering loss of life.

I have experienced suicidal thoughts intermittently over the past four years, with an increase in frequency over the last three months. I feel as though I have been shouting into a void.

Only a handful of courageous individuals seem to genuinely care. Many others—my family, numerous friends, and countless professionals—seem threatened by my suffering. Instead of acknowledging my experience and providing comfort, they often respond by blaming me for my pain.

This reaction is perplexing and profoundly cruel, shedding light on why many innocent individuals suffer in silence. I feel a connection with both the famous and the unknown who have resorted to the heartbreaking decision to end their suffering. I can assure you that no one chooses death willingly; rather, they are driven to such actions by the relentless pain inflicted by those around them. The rising suicide rates do not surprise me; bullying, particularly from those who seem harmless, is pervasive.

These covert bullies are often deeply insecure, protecting their fragile self-esteem at any cost. To maintain their inflated self-image, they resort to manipulation and emotional abuse. They may guilt-trip you, use passive-aggressive tactics, and engage in gaslighting to make you doubt your own reality.

The charm of the covert female narcissist is a weapon they wield to draw you in. They shower you with praise and create an illusion of a perfect friendship or partnership. However, once you begin to see through their façade or assert your independence, their true nature becomes evident.

The repercussions of narcissistic abuse (bullying) are devastating, as many victims enter the helping professions without realizing their own victimhood. The professionals tasked with assisting us often lack the necessary self-awareness and are unprepared to help. The rest of us face a stark choice: to bully or be bullied, with little room for neutrality.

I refuse to become a bully (or a flying monkey); thus, my only option is to continue resisting the bullies and their supporters. Yet this has been a losing battle for years, and I find myself more isolated than ever, with dwindling options.

The number of loved ones urging me to seek professional help in recent months has been overwhelming. This advice mirrors the response I received from my mother when I expressed deep pain in 2010 and again in 2020—“call 911.” Such advice can be dismissive or, at its worst, cruel.

Be warned—telling someone with suicidal thoughts to contact 911 or a “professional” is often the most unhelpful suggestion possible. I encourage you to attend a suicide prevention training session. I have participated in many and studied the topic extensively. I am aware of the warning signs and know how to guide people toward recovery, yet I am struggling to help myself. None of us can save ourselves without the support of those who genuinely care.

I know I am not going to take my own life (heaven forbid anyone label me selfish, as my mother often did to victims), yet I have been trapped in this torment for months, frequently wishing I wouldn’t wake up each morning.

It is no secret that I am in need of help. For years, I have pleaded for assistance, only to be met with dismissal and indifference. Professionals are unable to aid me because they cannot provide the emotional connection I require. Only my loved ones possess the capacity to meet that need, and regrettably, very few seem willing to try.

My circle of trust has narrowed to four people. That’s it. Despite a wide network of "friends" and family, only four compassionate souls make me feel safe sharing my profound pain. They never instruct me to consult a professional. They listen to my experiences without casting shame or invalidating my feelings.

These empathetic individuals validate my emotions by expressing that they would feel equally desperate in my situation—abandoned by nearly everyone who once professed to care for me. They never treat me as a burden. They reach out when they can or return my calls promptly. They comprehend suicidal ideation and, more importantly, they understand me. Their bravery and genuine empathy are vital components of kindness.

Instead of focusing on identifying bullies, we should prioritize the victims—the ones who are singled out and suffering. Covert bullies rarely stand out; it is always their victims who find themselves isolated, scapegoated by the charming bully and their supporters.

Recognizing victims of bullying does not require knowing who the bullies are. What is essential is acknowledging the suffering of the victims to alleviate their isolation. Rather than perpetuating loneliness by becoming a supporter of the bullies, focus on those who are struggling with suicidal thoughts and lack support—those labeled as “crazies” who can’t seem to cope despite professional assistance. By doing so, you may help prevent someone from making an irreversible decision.

Here’s a prime example of what NOT to say to someone reaching out in pain. This message did not come from a bully but from a supporter. The identity of the sender is irrelevant, as I have received similar messages from many individuals over the years.

Do not be this person. Strive to do better. Be better.

Educate yourself about boundaries and compassion. Engage in the work necessary for your own healing. Practice kindness.

“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” ? Maya Angelou