Chapter 1: A Defining Moment

At the age of 13, I returned from the South Dakota State Chess Championship with a trophy in hand. As I settled into the car, my father inquired, “How did you perform?” I replied, “I won.” His response has echoed in my mind for over two decades: “Good… you were supposed to.”

Those words weighed heavily on me for many years. I grappled with the idea that excellence was a requirement rather than a privilege. I mistakenly believed that I needed to excel in every endeavor, which set an unrealistic standard for measuring my self-worth. This led to a relentless pursuit of perfection—a game that felt impossible to win. If winning is expected, what genuine pride can one feel in that victory? Conversely, the sting of defeat becomes even more pronounced.

Tony Robbins wisely remarked, “Success without fulfillment is the ultimate failure.” I lived this reality for years, attempting to compensate for a deep-seated feeling of inadequacy through my accomplishments. It took numerous conversations with my father and a significant amount of self-reflection to realize my misinterpretation of his question.

When he asked, “How did you do?” he wasn't inquiring about the trophy; he was interested in my performance. It was about my efforts, not just the outcome.

Consider this quote from Star Trek: “You can do everything right and still lose. That’s not weakness, that’s life.” Conversely, one can perform poorly and still win, which speaks to luck rather than skill.

In that championship round, I was fortunate, despite not playing to my full potential. I made blunders that could have cost me the game. Such is life.

The lesson I derived from this experience has been transformative: while we cannot control what happens to us, we can choose what it signifies. My interpretation of that conversation with my dad is clear: it’s not about being the best but about doing your best.

In the larger context of life, if you commit to showing up each day and putting forth your best effort, things will ultimately turn out well.

Stay focused, my friend.

In this video titled "These 5 Words Can Change Your Life," the speaker discusses how pivotal phrases can shape your mindset and influence your journey.

The second video, "5 WORDS THAT CHANGED MY LIFE," explores how simple yet profound words can lead to significant transformations in one's life.

Chapter 2: Redefining Success

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