A Daily Affirmation of Love: Essential for Kids' Well-being
Written on
A few years back, during an important football match, my son, then fourteen, was in goal for his school’s A-Team. It was a crucial away game, and we were excited to support him, having traveled over an hour to the venue.
Sebastian was an impressive goalie, and my wife and I felt immense pride in him. While most parents were from the home team, a tall man in an elegant navy overcoat stood nearby, embodying the image of a proud father. He had clearly made time from his busy schedule to be there, surrounded by familiar faces.
Just before the match kicked off, a small boy with curly blonde hair dashed off the pitch to greet this man, who I assumed was his father. The boy, full of energy, handed his dad a used tissue and then hugged his legs, causing the man to sway a bit. It was evident that he felt somewhat awkward by this display of affection.
As the boy ran back toward the field, he turned around and shouted, "Love you, Dad!" I found the moment touching, but the father didn’t respond verbally; he merely looked at his son with a slight nod.
I glanced at my son, who was busy warming up, and felt a pang of exclusion, as I usually participated in these warm-up rituals during his local club games. Soon after, as the match approached, I noticed the boy at his father’s side, sipping from a bottle while his dad chatted with other fathers.
With the referee's whistle signaling kick-off, the boy tossed his bottle to the ground, mimicking professional players. He turned to his dad one last time, who said, "Watch out for that number eleven; he’s quick!" The boy yelled back, "Thanks, Dad! Love you!", but again received no verbal acknowledgment in return, just a casual, "Good luck, Jonathan!" The joy on the boy's face faded as he ran onto the pitch.
This interaction left me puzzled. Why wouldn't the father reciprocate even a small gesture? It seemed evident that his son craved some acknowledgment. But, who was I to judge? Perhaps there were underlying issues at play.
As we moved down to the goal where Sebastian would start, he looked over and gave us a thumbs-up. I called out, "Are you ready, Seb?" He responded with a cheerful thumbs-up and shouted back, "Love you!" I echoed, "Love you too!" This exchange was a treasured ritual between us, reinforcing our bond and giving him a boost of confidence as he played.
The Importance of Daily Affirmation
Our love for children is often communicated through actions—quality time, care, and affection. However, as kids grow, they might start to take these actions for granted. This is why verbally expressing "I love you!" can serve as a vital reminder that enhances the love shown through our actions.
Those two words carry immense significance for children. Nonetheless, parents frequently underestimate the daily importance of expressing this sentiment.
In today's world, which seems more complex and uncertain than during my own childhood, kids rely heavily on their parents' emotional support. Our love can be a crucial factor in shaping their mental health as they grow.
Psychologist Dr. Jennifer E. Lansford notes that making children feel loved and accepted is one of the most important roles of a parent. Children who feel this love tend to have better relationships with both family and peers, while those who feel rejected face greater emotional challenges later in life.
Research consistently shows a strong link between parental expressions of love and a child’s emotional well-being.
Children who receive love and affection in their formative years are more likely to become emotionally stable adults. Based on discussions and research, here are ten key reasons to tell your kids you love them regularly:
- Reinforcement: It serves as a vital reminder of the bond we share with our children.
- Foundation: It establishes a sense of security that fosters their confidence and self-esteem.
- Mental Health: Knowing they are loved alleviates anxiety and stress, particularly in today’s challenging environment.
- The Science: Studies show that children who feel supported by their parents are more likely to thrive academically and socially.
- Love as a Value: A child who feels loved learns to value themselves and others, fostering a culture of care.
- Social Interaction: Children develop emotional intelligence by understanding kindness and empathy, enhancing their relationships.
- It Always Feels Good: Hearing "I love you" is an emotional gift that brings joy and positivity.
- Offsets Doubt: Children may question their parents' love if it's not expressed regularly; we must remind them.
- A Safe Environment: Hearing they are loved fosters a sense of belonging and trust, encouraging openness.
- Courage: Love empowers children to face challenges, knowing they have a secure home to return to.
While it may seem simple, regularly telling your kids that you love them can significantly impact their lives, both now and in the long run. It costs nothing yet delivers immense positivity.
Peter Mukherjee is the author of A Few Wise Words (Volume One) — stories of success and inspirational advice from 22 exceptional individuals.